How to create your Positively Impactful Self and get what you want by utilizing your circle of control.
Here we go again – another lockdown. For some it is a time to get outstanding tasks done, or to focus without interruption. For others, it can create stress, anxiety and feels of loss of control. I understand.
We all respond to things differently based on our history, our thoughts, our perceptions, emotions at the time and a whole range of other things.
Did you know though – we all have the ability to choose our response.
Consider (or even create on paper) a circle. This is your Circle of Concern – what matters to you. Everything within the circle concerns you – work, family and relatives, health, financial situation, global warming or government decisions perhaps. Everything outside of the circle is inconsequential to you. If it helps, write what your concerns are in your circle. Often it is great to get it out of the head and visually represented.
Within the Circle of Concern, there is a Circle of Influence. In this circle are the people and things that you have potential to have some influence. As you consider this circle you will notice perhaps that some of that which is in your circle of concern is not in your control or influence. You may be concerned about the spread of Covid-19, but can you do anything more about it than what you have influence over? You may not agree with a family member’s decision over something but if they are an adult, how much influence do you have? Telling them what to do is what you may do – it doesn’t mean they have to.
So, within the Circle of Influence identify what aspects you can influence or help to influence. You might be able to write to a Minister to express your point of view on something or start a petition. You might not be able to make a regular visit to someone, but you can ring them and chat and check in.
Inside these two circles is a third circle – the Circle of Control. This is YOUR circle – here is where you have to power to choose. In this circle notice yourself.
- Which circle are you spending most of your time in (is it the most impactful circle?)
- What do you have control over?
- Are you being the most impactful self you can be right now?
- What can you start (or stop) doing to give you more control over how your emotions or actions?
- What can you change right now to head more toward what you truly want?
There are always choices and ways to positively impact what is most important to us, if only we took the time to notice.